LEAVING THE COMFORT ZONE
Going through a major change in your life is always challenging. You have to firstly come to terms with the fact that you have left something behind you, and deal with the mourning and the closing of a chapter. Which for me was difficult, but something I knew how to do. Much more challenging has been the embracing of the new season in my life…
How do you start again? Especially when you are 42 and thought that by now you would ‘have it all together’. This has been the greatest challenge I have faced this year and I am just starting to see myself really deal with it.
So what does that mean? I am starting to look at myself really closely - examine and (as objectively as possible) judge myself and the motivations of my heart. This has been difficult. Especially for someone like me who hates to fail and especially hates to admit failure. So step one was realising that I made some SERIOUS mistakes. Step 2 - admitting my gigantic arrogance. Step 3 - realising how many people I had hurt. Being an intercessor, I was still able to deal with all of this. I know how to repent, I know how to cry and I know how to find forgiveness in God. What I have been struggling to do… is figure our how to begin again.
I mean, if I made such a colossal mess this time, messed up so much while TRULY believing with my whole heart that I was doing good - then what says I will not do that again? The horrible answer… nothing! That is the thing with life - we have to get up off the floor and try again. AND we have to do it with our whole heart!
So this is where I am as I begin my journey. I have made up my mind that I am going to try again. I am going to get up and move forward and give it everything, believe with my whole heart, activate my faith, gear up my courage and walk into the new season. I am a little nervous, no, I lie, a lot nervous, but I think that is a good thing, it should keep me humble. And I hope that by sharing my walk, others may also have the courage to truly find who they are, who God made them to be and to go on and be the world changer they were created to be.